I'm Known As the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: A Candid Conversation.
The action icon is best known as an iconic tough guy. However, in the midst of his cinematic dominance in the 1980s and 1990s, he also starred in several genuinely hilarious comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its 35-year mark this winter.
The Role and An Iconic Moment
In the classic film, Schwarzenegger portrays a tough police officer who masquerades as a kindergarten teacher to locate a fugitive. For much of the movie, the procedural element serves as a simple backdrop for the star to have charming scenes with children. Arguably the most famous involves a little boy named Joseph, who out of nowhere announces and informs the stoic star, “Males have a penis, females have a vagina.” The Terminator replies icily, “Thank you for that information.”
The young actor was brought to life by youth performer Miko Hughes. His career included a notable part on Full House playing the antagonist to the child stars and the haunting part of the resurrected boy in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with several projects listed on his IMDb. He also is a regular on the con circuit. He recently shared his recollections from the filming of the classic after all this time.
Memories from the Set
Interviewer: First, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.
That's impressive, I don't recall being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?
Yeah, to a degree. They're flashes. They're like visual recollections.
Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?
My mother, mainly would accompany me to auditions. Often it was an open call. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all just have to wait, enter the casting office, be in there for a very short time, deliver a quick line they wanted and then leave. My parents would help me learn the words and then, when I became literate, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.
Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?
He was extremely gentle. He was playful. He was good-natured, which I suppose isn't too surprising. It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a positive atmosphere. He was great to work with.
“It would have been odd if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”
I understood he was a big action star because my family informed me, but I had barely seen his movies. I knew the air around him — he was a big deal — but he wasn't scary to me. He was simply playful and I just wanted to play with him when he had time. He was working hard, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd flex and we'd be holding on. He was exceptionally kind. He bought every kid in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was a major status symbol. That was the hottest tech out there, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for a long time on that thing. It wore out in time. I also have a genuine metal whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all got a whistle as well.
Do you remember your time filming as being positive?
You know, it's amusing, that movie is such a landmark. It was a major production, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of collaborating with Schwarzenegger, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, traveling to Oregon, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a really picky eater at lunch. For instance, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the original Game Boy was just released. That was the big craze, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the older kids would bring me their Game Boys to beat difficult stages on games because I could do it, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all childhood recollections.
The Infamous Moment
OK, the infamous quote, do you remember how it happened? Did you know what you were saying?
At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word shocking meant, but I knew it was provocative and it caused the crew to chuckle. I was aware it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given special permission in this case because it was humorous.
“My mom thought hard about it.”
How it came about, based on what I was told, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. Some character lines were written into the script, but once they had the kids together, it was more of a collaboration, but they refined it on set and, presumably it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "I need to consider this, I need time" and took a day or two. She deliberated carefully. She said she was hesitant, but she believed it would likely become one of the iconic quotes from the movie and she was right.
